Single and Trying Not to Look

People always say, "You will find love when you aren't looking for it, and then it will find you." Among many other versions of that sentence. I definitely believe that is true which brings us to:

Part One: My Shudder-Inducing and Cliched, What Seemed to be a Totally Worthless Online Venture Turned into a Hysterically Eye-Opening Observation. 

After 2 weeks of swimming the guy infested waters of online dating I want to share with you my experience and observations. I can't say I got much out of it, because honestly at the end of the day I don't think I wanted anything out of it. Online dating isn't for me. It's scary, over whelming, and just plain weird. I stopped myself and was like, "What am I doing? I'm like online shopping for dudes." First I signed up for Plenty of Fish and after a week I got about 120 messages from random guys. I made an OkCupid account and quickly noticed how many guys had both a POF and OkCupid account! It was bizaare. I don't know how they can keep up. I deleted my POF account and decided to focus only on OkCupid for 3 days.

- plain, easy to use, simple. Large photos when browsing. Home of every douche-bag known to man.

 - Colorful, aesthetically pleasing. Question/Match % based. Information heavy, small photo thumbnails.

One of the first guys that ever messaged me on one of these Online Dating sites was the guy I was most attracted to out of all of them. Yes, I am only going off about 3-5 pictures, but still. He was too good to be true when it came to connections between us, etc. He messaged ME, but never made the effort to talk again. He kept saying, "We'll be in touch."
It's like a scene from the film, He's Just Not That Into You where Gigi meets this dude in a bar and he gives her his card and says, "We'll be in touch." She then awkwardly calls him out on who will indeed be the one to contact the other first. Let's just say she never heard from that guy again.
Justin Long's character, "Alex" gave the best piece of advice that is SO INCREDIBLY TRUE:  

"If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you. If a guy wants to talk to you, he will talk to you. If he wants to see you, he will find a way to see you." 

Guys are simple (usually). If he isn't thinking about you, you will not be hearing from him. Sadly, the 2 main guys whom I had a decent conversation with, and possibly could see myself being friends with in the future, were not thinking about me. 

Part Two: The Hilarious yet Completely Alarming First Message From Lonely Creepers and Oddly Creative Bachelors.
(Keep in mind, this is the FIRST message I received from these guys. The 1st message is suppose to be different and interesting enough for you to want to reply to them. Think of it as a guy approaching you in a bar.  And no I did not respond to any of the following).

1. Do you think vampires are sexy? (WTF?!)

2. First off I want to say I find you very attractive. Given the chance, I would invite you over for a romantic dinner. As soon as you got here I would pull you in close and say, "Baby I have a TV dinner in the freezer with your name on it." Then I'll proceed to plug in your favorite scent of glade plug it in, just for you, then pour you the finest glass of welch's grade juice. For dessert I will feed you some gold fish with a spork.

Sincerely, Your Knight in shining armor. (Oddly Creative isn't it?)

3. Hey. dtf (gross)

4. Wow you are gorgeous. I need a Midwestern girl like you to melt my country heart.

5. What are you looking for in a guy? How do you feel about video games? I like your smile.  :-) (A.D.D.?)

6. How was yoir dau (Spell check?)

7. hiiii princess ;) may I step into ur lil world 4 a lil while?

8. I know this will sound weird...Are you special?

9. i heart you

10. Hi there! Just a quick question; How about coffee,wine&beach, tea, lunch, dinner or just get married !? :)) as simple as it is :) (Well, that escalated quickly)

11. Happy 24th bday! (it wasn't my birthday)

12. lol gotta remove that madrid bathroom pic! Haha (I have NO idea)

13. I have a net. (Get it? Plenty of Fish)

14. Cute, I'd spank you.

15. You must be going insane...
I mean, all these brain dead emails in your inbox? How could you not be?
At any rate, I'm ambitious, creative, have never been known to settle for the mundane.... and you surprised me the way you seem a little more three-dimensional than the average user.
But before we waste 10 years on toxic marraige where we throw the family china at each other across the living room and end up fighting over who gets Fluffy in divorce court, let's cut straight to the chase...
What would your friends say are your strangest quirks? Don't worry...I've got mine too and I promise not to judge (much). 

16. Meep.

17. i would love to make you my girl

18. Hey sexy do you model? (HAHAHAHAHA. No.)

19. Rawr

20. French toast, waffles or pancakes? What do you dislike most about the dating process?

Well to answer guy number 20...the entire thing! I won't bash it because Online Dating has created many success stories, I just know that it isn't for me. So here I am...deleting my accounts and trying my best to not look for love so it can accidentally bump into me one day.

Part Three: Most Popular Names among online dating bachelors:
1. Tom
2. Matthew/Matt
3. Michael/Mike
4. Andrew

Cheers to all the Toms, Matts, Mikes and Andrews. May the force be with you. 

50 reasons why being a Guy is much easier than being a Girl

This topic constantly comes up between myself and others. Sometimes guys ask, "what makes being a guy so much easier?" I am then forced to rattled off a few that come to mind...(leaving off about 50 plus reasons why being a guy is so much easier than being a girl).

Well guys, here ya go.

My 50 Reasons why being a Guy is way easier than being a Girl:

1. They don't wear bras.
2. They can't get pregnant.
3. They don't have to deal with having a period every. single. month.
4. They don't have to wear make up.
5. They don't have to spend tons of money on make up.
6. They don't have to spend lots of money on bras/underwear.
7. Picking out their "swim suit" involves pulling a pair of shorts off a clothing rack.
8. Their hair dries in like 2 minutes.
9. They don't have to shave their legs or underarms.
10. They don't have to put on make up in the morning to look decent enough to go into public.
11. They don't really need to fix their hair.
12. They don't need to own hair dryers.
13. Some don't even own a brush!
14. They can get into a fight with another dude and be their friend the next day (unlike women).
15. They spend less money on jewelry.
16. They don't have to wear heels.
17. They don't have to take the time to take off all the damn make up at night.
18. They don't feel like crap from the symptoms of PMS.
19. They are MUCH less likely to get breast cancer.
20. Men are less likely to get an autoimmune disease than Women.
21. They don't deal with all that pressure on what women should look like based on the media, magazines, photos, and society.
22. They get paid more at their jobs.
23. They can lose fat when exercising easier.
24. They don't have to pluck/wax their eye brows (although some should).
25. They aren't expected to have pretty fingernails/toenails.
26. They don't have to spend money on nail polish, files, manicures or pedicures. (I know some do, though).
27. They don't have to wear tampons or pads.
28. They don't have to buy those expensive tampons and pads.
29. They rarely have to deal with people beeping, hooting, or hollering (cat calling) them by creepy men.
30. They rarely get their ass grabbed or treated as an object by jerk men.
31. I don't know the last time I ever heard of a guy getting the date rape drug?
32. Men can sleep with tons of people and get a high five, while women are seen as sluts.
33. They aren't as emotional.
34. Back in the day they blamed Women when they did not bare a son, when it is the male's duty to provide the Y chromosome!
35. Men aren't catty.
36. Men dominate the Entertainment Industry...more likely to get a job.
37. Men are less likely to get taken advantage of (money wise!) by salesmen, mechanics, etc
38. They can walk around alone at night and be safer than a woman would.
39. They are physically stronger.
40. They can take their shirts off and it's not considered "indecent exposure."
41. They don't have to go through the act of HAVING a baby.
42. They can pick out clothes for their body much easier.
43. They dont have to worry about loosing hair clips, booby pins, or hair ties.
44. It's easy for Men to "dress up."
45. They use wayyy less toilet paper than ladies do...saving more $$.
46. They don't have to worry about birth control.
47. Men don't often cry.
48. Men keep true friends and don't deal with gossipy bullying from mean girls in Middle/High School...and through-out life.
49. Men worry about their appearance less than Women.
50. They aren't constantly pressured for sex.

Paint Swatch Wall

Happy Weekend! 

Kathryn Begle and I have completed another Pinterest inspired project for our apartment! 

Pinterest Inspiration: Paint Swatch Wall

I actually found this quite a few months back, but I just never thought of actually doing it. One day I yelled, "Kathryn, can I do this." She leans over to look at my Pinterest decor album and says, "Do it." So we became starving artists and made what is free art essentially.

It just takes a sneeky "theft" to successfully nab the entire rainbow of swatches from paint stores. I went to Lowes (3 times), Home Depot (2 times), and Mark's Paint Store (1 time). Keep grabbing swatches until you have a pretty impressive rainbow of each color. Tip: Don't forget the in between (blended colors) like yellow-green, blueish-purple, etc cause I had to go back again to get more. 

I copied the lady from the Pinterest picture and taped my floor with the dimensions of our wall. From there I was able to plan the layout of all the swatches (and see what I needed more of). I think if I tried winging it and immediately started taping the swatches to the wall, it would have been horrible. This step is very important. I tried doing a diagonal effect like the lady, but as you can see it didn't really go so perfectly, but I knew the TV would cover up a lot of the bottom. 

Progress!

To remember my spacing of each swatch, I took a picture of each color section from the layout on the floor. I put the pictures on my computer so I was able to reference them each time I taped a new one up. This is really a two person project. Kathryn nicely taped every swatch and handed them to me, one by one, as I taped them on the wall. The only expense of this project was the tape. I just bought a 4 pack of tape from Target, and we used about 3 of them. 

3 Hours Later...

(and a food break)

Ta Da!